Why leading and following actually work

Did you ever ask yourself how it is possible for two people to coordinate their movements to tango music so precisely as to practically become one constantly shape-shifting entity? Have you ever watched a particularly skillful tango performance and been amazed at how flawless the human connection can become in an experienced couple, despite the speed, the risks involved, the stress, the improvisation, the difficult dance moves? Did you ever wonder about its magic? After many years in tango, this connection phenomenon still blows my mind. And yet every day I teach people to do just that: to connect to another being, to lead or follow, to become one with the music, to coordinate one’s body movements to the movements of another person and to improvise together. 

We all know it is not an easy thing to learn. Some of us know it is a damn hard thing to teach. Yet, not only is it possible, it happens everywhere. Tango is magic and all of us are its magicians. We rarely give it a second thought. We rarely stop to wonder just how this magic happens.

Tango is about leading and following another person, but why does it work? Scientific research partially answers this question by demonstrating that “coordinating physical actions with other humans can lead us to integrate their bodies into our own body schema in much the same way that interacting with objects extends our perception of our physical boundaries.” In other words, practicing tango allows our brain to attune our perception to our partner’s body movements. The underlying mechanism appears to be the same as for an experienced violinist who feels the violin become part of his or her body, or for an experienced horse rider feeling “fused” with the horse. 

This makes perfect sense. However, I would like to add a different, somewhat more trivial explanation. From my own experience as dancer and teacher I have the impression that leading and following in tango works well for the simple reason that all of us lead and follow other people in our everyday life ALL THE TIME.

First, we need to define what leading and following means. I am talking here about bodily interaction through movement. Following means taking a physical clue from another person and responding to it in a way suggested by this physical clue. Following is a deliberate (but not necessarily conscious) decision to move accordingly to the clue and one’s own will, within given possibilities. In other words, it is not about being manipulated or forced. Leading, therefore, means giving those physical clues, making clear how you would like the follower to move. Leading also has nothing to do with force or manipulation and does not necessarily involve physical contact. 

If you observe yourself and other people interacting in your everyday life, you will soon see plenty of examples of physical leading and following. Opening and holding the door for somebody involves leading on your part and following by the other person. When playing with a small child you often lead and the child follows, but also sometimes you follow the child. Any team sport involves a constantly changing interplay of leading and following. The orchestra director leads, the musicians follow, but the singer or the soloist can lead, too, and the accompanying musician follows. When you point at a beautiful sight, your friends automatically look in that direction (we do that a lot in Paris).

Most of the time we do not perceive these interactions as leading and following because they are deeply ingrained in our everyday dynamics. So deeply, they have become reflexes. When waiting in a queue you move as soon as the queue leads you to move; when someone gestures to an empty chair in a metro you sit down; when a child throws a ball at you, you catch. And just as you play the “follower”, you “lead”, too: throwing back the ball, offering an empty seat, moving as the head of a waiting line. 

Of course, in our daily life leading and following are far from being as precise as in two experienced tango dancers improvising. The split-second precision in a tango couple is the result of years of practicing and tuning the dancers’ reflexes to specific dance movements. Yet, at its basis, we can identify generic body mechanisms that we all master in the course of our lives. And not only that: our nervous system is programmed to lead and follow each other by movement. We do it from our first days as babies because it is inherent to our functioning as social animals. When I realised that, I asked myself: could I, as a teacher, become more aware of these human reflexes to make tango easier to learn and more intuitive for my students? 

The reason this question occupied my mind had to do with a specific problem. There exists a widely observed phenomenon in tango, namely, that the first one to two years of learning tango seem to be harder for leaders than they are for followers. Not always, but often. In most cases we are talking here about men leading and women following, and gender certainly does play a part in it, but the difficulty has more to do with the role itself. For the followers the learning becomes more challenging once the woman gets to work on some serious technique, after the first two years, trying to improve her balance and aesthetics. It is a common understanding that until then following is somehow easier to learn than leading. For a long time I have been observing this phenomenon and asking myself what makes leading more difficult to master in the beginning. Now I believe that this comes (among other things) from the simple fact that in our everyday life we follow others more than we lead, especially if living in a densely populated environment. 

This is a bold claim to make without any empirical evidence, but by simply analysing my own life in a big city I come to the conclusion that my movements are more often determined by the reflex to follow. Taking up the available space, moving around in crowds, using public transportation, going into shops, waiting in lines, walking around with a friend: I find myself following more often than leading. I do not think this has much to do with my gender or my tango role. It might have something to do with my quiet temperament and that in some situations I would choose to follow rather than to lead, while a different person would choose differently. Yet I believe that the mere fact of living in communities, surrounded by people, sustaining social ties on a daily basis makes us all follow more often than lead.

What do we tell beginning followers? To stop thinking. “Stop thinking” does not mean we want them to become brainless zombies. What we want is for them to trust their reflexes MORE than their analytical assessment of the situation. We ask them to rely on fast, intuitive thinking rather than on slow, rational one. A lot of leaders tell me that, when trying to follow, their dance seems to flow more, their body relaxes once they have “let go”. That internal switch from “doing” to “flowing” makes us perceive following as more natural and spontaneous, and therefore “easier” . Here it is important to understand that “following” and “dancing well” are not one and the same thing. After dancing as a follower for many years I can tell you that the follower’s role is not inherently easier than the leader’s role (I actually believe it is more difficult, but this is a topic for a different article).

If we want to make leading easier to learn, we should look for examples of the “lead reflex” in our daily life and start developing the leading skill from there. Just like any other movement in tango, leading has its origins in some trivial, everyday movement any of us can do. When teaching how to lead I tend to use several analogies. One is playing with a child or a dog, making them follow you through space, coming towards you or away from you, all the time accompanying them with your own movement. Another quite successful analogy is that of moving furniture: not because of the furniture, but because to move something heavy you have to coordinate your movements with another person, while taking care of some object or space between partners (the inner space of the couple). When moving heavy furniture, say, taking a piano down some stairs, one person needs to lead the way through the staircase and another one needs to follow, carefully, step by step. Shopping together is another excellent example of leading and following. When walking through a shopping street one person would unconsciously take the lead, stopping at some shops, walking in, inviting the other to follow. Shopping with another person never feels the same as shopping alone, even if you each go your separate ways inside a shop. There is still a keen physical awareness of another body somewhere in your vicinity, connected to your own movements. This connection is very useful to explore for tango purposes, taking it to a higher level of sophistication and precision.

This is why, ultimately, comparing a follower to a car is futile. Yes, there is something like an action and a response involved in driving a vehicle but at the same time we are talking about an inanimate object programmed to react in a predictable way, mechanically, to input. A car does not follow: it executes a command. Following is a deliberate action, determined much more by the follower, her or his capacities and desires than by what is actually being led. 

Eventually, if you analyse any human activity involving more than one person, you would clearly identify leading and following movement patterns. Every time you tell tango students that tango is something very special and has no parallels in his or her everyday movements, you make their learning process more difficult. Tango is a dance meant to be danced by anyone, at any age and with any body type, and the more we explain its movements through their origins in our everyday reflexes, the faster people will learn to dance in a spontaneously natural way. It does, of course, demystify tango a great deal, but in my opinion teachers only need mystique when they are unable to explain something in a comprehensible way. Tango may seem a bit less magical in our eyes, considering all of the above, yet, when a true connection is there, every single time, it still feels magical in our bodies.

RUSSIANROMANIANPOLISHGERMAN

July 23, 2016

Why we believe technique kills emotion

There exists a belief that focusing too much on technique will put you at risk of becoming an emotionally detached dancer. In tango, this is a very serious risk. If saying “this dancer is not very accomplished technically, but has great human qualities in his or her dance”  about someone can be considered a compliment, saying that someone’s dance is too technical and not emotional enough often means that this person did not understand what tango is really about. We seem to believe that technique can become the opposite of emotion, or human factor in general. To my articles in which I discuss the difficulties of learning the skills of tango, every now and then I get the reaction “Yes, yes, that’s all very nice, but you know, you dance tango with your HEART and all the technique in the world will not teach you this!” 

The tension between technique and emotion is not new, we perceive them as sometimes complementing and sometimes opposing notions in many domains of life, not just tango. In all dance forms teachers and choreographers complain about dancers becoming so driven by perfection that, as a ballet teacher once said, “they seem to be in love with their own legs!” In dance, being absorbed by the technicalities of a movement prevents the dancer from “becoming” the movement and therefore from expressing all that which lies beyond, such as intention, narrative, imagery, mood, emotion, soul and passion.

This tension field between technique and emotion is created in the first place in the way we master any kind of complex skill: the learning process takes up most of our focus. As long as you are learning to master a smooth giro, the emotion will be the last thing on your mind. This study mindset, requiring a complete focus on the task, is what we develop in the context of classes and practicas. As long as our bodymind feels overwhelmed with difficulty, we will tend to “do” rather than “become”. If, after we have arrived at a sufficiently skilled level, we keep this mindset of concentrating on “doing”, our movement will never be fully embodied and our being therefore never fully expressed. 

In any kind of a dance class teachers regularly urge their students, now and then, to stop “executing” and to bring their entire being into movement. It is only then that a movement can become more than a physical action. In some cases, to forcefully leave this mindset, a dancer must completely let himself or herself go and take the risk of doing it IMPERFECTLY for the sake of doing it with real feeling. In each dance we are facing the same trap: the risk of concentrating so much on doing the dance that we forget to live it.

In tango the word “technical” is often used to describe an obsession with complex steps or movement. In social dancing to focus entirely on steps and movement is considered the highest degree of treason as you forsake the connection to your partner and dance by yourself, using the other person as an instrument. This is allowed while practicing, in order to improve, but not in social context. Once in a milonga, you are supposed to put your heart and soul into it. Yet, this is not about technique: it is about FOCUS. Technique is a tool helping you to dance with the least effort possible in the most graceful and efficient way. It is this effortless quality that allows for true expression and makes your dance feel free, exhilarating and so close to flying. Technique gives you freedom of expression by giving you the freedom of movement. What we call “technical yet unemotional” should be more accurately called “movement-focused” or “disconnected”, because, when focusing entirely on how to do the movement, we inevitably disconnect to some extent from the partner, the music, the dance and our emotional self. Being technical means having a certain quality of technique, not being technique-obsessed. All dancers wish they were truly technical, for then they could forget about it.  

A very interesting phenomenon occurs when a person who has been trying to do something perfectly, lets go of this focus and consciously connects to the music, or an image, or an intention. Suddenly the technical quality of the movement improves dramatically! Why is that? You see, when you focus exclusively on the physical action, you neglect the other parameters that create an effortlessly danced movement: its musicality, intentionality and connectedness. This is why dancing with a “technical” focus makes us move in a mechanical way, with either too little or too much energy, either emotionally detached or pathetically frantic. 

The above phenomenon explains why teachers so often, instead of reminding you “to put the foot forward heel-first, then roll it until you arrive” will tell you “now, walk softly, like a cat, imagine your feet are massaging the floor”. Imagery in dance is used precisely for the purpose of enlarging your focus to incorporate other things: music, space, energy, your partner, intention and emotion. This is why images are so effective in dance: when they hit the target your movement becomes instantly COMPLETE. You do need, at some point, to understand the mechanics of a movement in order to bring your technique to a higher level, but to go beyond mechanics you will need an image or an intention. And you need it at every stage, not just after the mechanics have become perfect, because, as we see, the mechanics will not be perfect unless your awareness includes more than just mechanics.

Understanding the movement-focused way of dancing makes us understand why we oppose it to “emotion”. In the tango context I would describe “emotion” as the extent to which you let your personal presence be felt and seen by the other person in an authentic and open way, in other words, whether you are fully present in what you do. When you disconnect from various aspects of the dance and concentrate uniquely on doing the physical movement, you disconnect from your emotions as well. 

We should not confuse emotion with being “all over the place”. An excess of emotions actually disturbs your dance, as your bodymind becomes overwhelmed. One of the reasons we have technique is to be able to feel and show strong emotion yet to keep the body movement within our control. Tango is a dance in which the emotions are directed inside the couple, towards the other more than to the outside, even if you are performing. In tango therefore quite often things do not look the way they feel. Not all that looks complex is necessarily technical: sometimes the least eye-catching dancer in the room is the most technical one. Likewise, not everybody who looks emotionally expressive will feel genuinely present in the embrace. Often a somewhat cold or aloof looking dancer will give you the most intense dance experience.

Teachers are often criticised for making people “technique-focused” as they spend so much time on showing students how to do the steps properly. Many people hold the opinion that studying ruins your authentic connection to tango and that you should go about it intuitively, by feeling and desire only, by human factor alone. If you believe that this has been your way through tango and it paid off very well, you probably do not realise that the way you dance has been largely copied from and influenced by people around you, as well as adapted to the movements of your partners, in other words, there is still a technical part to it that has simply not been the result of a structured study. There isn’t much you can do on a dance floor if all you can offer your partner is a big corazón. Technique is not the problem. The problem is the belief that knowing how to move will make you dance, or the belief that being a lovely person and knowing how to embrace will make you a dancer. Neither of these things ALONE will. However, combined, they can bring about what I still consider, after all these years, to be pure magic. 

There is also another reason why in tango we are so sensitive to this apparent tension between technique and emotionality, and it has everything to do with the nature of the dance itself.

One of the reasons many social dancers do not enjoy watching tango artists perform choreography is that, to them, the mere fact of it being a choreography diminishes the emotional pleasure they get from watching it. Yet, paradoxically, those same viewers may be moved to tears watching a ballet or a contemporary dance performance which is always strictly choreographed. It would never cross their mind to look at Baryshnikov dance, shrug and say: “Well, all very well, but that’s choreography, it does not really touch me emotionally.” In tango, however, we believe that the dancers’ vulnerability in the context of total improvisation brings out that deep emotional charge and that profound and very particular human connection that we see as a UNIQUE CHARACTERISTIC of tango and associate specifically with this dance. In a sense, tango is like a thriller: it seems at every turn that the dancers won’t make it, yet somehow every time they do. In tango we want to see human nature act out spontaneously in these moments of utter insecurity, with all the resulting suspense, abandonment and surprises, yet eventually sail through it with mastery and aplomb. This is why the choreographies that we do like in tango are those that are able to invoke this sense of risk, by a very difficult technical achievement, or by a very strong, often extreme emotion, but most of all by invoking this special human connection specific to tango.

Ultimately, it all comes down to connection: connection to yourself, to emotion, to dance, to music, to your partner, to space. Connection in itself is a technique and at the same time a human factor, therefore difficult to explain and teach. Yet it remains the primary feature in tango, making it into what we know and what we so passionately love, and without which all the techniques and emotions of the world are nothing more than notes on a score, simply waiting for you to play the music.

RUSSIANGERMANCHINESEROMANIAN

January 14, 2016

Why tango teachers ask you to imagine things

Think about the last tango class you went to. There is a fair chance that at some point the teacher said: “Now, imagine that…”, followed by a mental image. Maybe it was directly related to tango culture (“imagine wearing a very tight skirt”) or to something generally familiar (“imagine a balloon held gently between your and your partner’s chests”). The teacher then asked you to move with that image in mind, to “embody” it. You might remember how your movement suddenly changed in all of its aspects. By becoming the image you allowed the image to become you and the movement you were trying to do suddenly worked in a different way. 

Imagery is a didactic and choreographic tool used in virtually any dance. But why? What makes images so powerfully effective? Which images work for tango and which don’t? How can you use images effectively in your practice as a student, dancer or teacher?

When teaching or learning to dance, we rely on four modes of conveying the movement: a visual example, a kinaesthetic or sensory example, functional explanations and imagery. Visual examples are given when the teachers perform the movement in front of you. The kinaesthetic quality of a movement can be felt in another person’s body through the embrace or in your own body with the teacher’s guidance. Functional explanations are verbal descriptions of various mechanical details, a breakdown of movement into parts: positions, use of muscle groups, postural alignment, applied force and so on. Imagery is used to represent a composite concept deeply associated with the movement.

Ideally, during a tango class a teacher operates in all the above modes, providing you with as much information as possible from as many angles as possible. Sometimes a teacher has a preference or a particularly developed competence in one of the modes. However, using only one mode is not enough. If a teacher shows the movement but is unable to explain how it is done or to provide useful imagery, we say: “s/he is a very good dancer but unfortunately has no didactic skills”. Visual and sensory aspects are the RESULTS of biomechanics. We also need to know HOW TO GET THERE. Of course, a lot of information is already contained within the example: directions, dynamics, positions, speed and so forth. The more a student is experienced, the less explanation s/he will need to copy a movement skillfully. However, in order to reproduce a movement in all its deeper aspects, the student needs to conceptualise it in the same way as the teacher. This conceptualisation is where it all starts. By looking at how a person moves, an experienced teacher can immediately tell what CONCEPTION of a particular movement this person has in his/her body and mind. This conception is always an image and often it is unconscious. The next stage is to make the person aware of the current conception and to start changing it by offering different images.

This explains why you can never learn tango by only watching YouTube videos, what you are seeing are just the results of the dancers’ understanding of the movement. The most important bodywork in dance is invisible. While you are mesmerized watching the free leg draw an intricate adorno, it is the standing leg and the dancer’s core that are making the effort of keeping the dancer in balance. If you are advanced, a video could be sufficient to make you learn a new sequence or to improve a certain alignment. A beginner, however, will need a live person to show and explain how a movement works, over and over and over again. 

Functional explanation of movement is a very valuable tool. It often demonstrates the degree of the teacher’s biomechanical and anatomical knowledge. Yet, functional explanation has one important drawback: it works algorithmically, emphasizing the order of things, charging the mind with too many details and conditions to remember, giving multiple tasks and engaging our slower, verbal, analytical way of thinking. If I were to tell you in a detailed way how to do a cross step in terms of all relevant parameters, I could talk for an hour and at the end you would be so loaded with information, you would stay frozen in your tracks. Our bodies do not move because we give them rational verbal orders. Also, humans can only hold a tiny number of conditions in mind at once to perform a task. Following a purely functional explanation leads to robotic movement, devoid of expression and musicality, this is why functional explanations are never enough to make people dance. Our bodies are not machines. We are living creatures and we move, literally, in mysterious ways.

A visual example shows you the result; a sensory example makes you feel the result; a functional explanation makes you understand how the body parts work together to create the result, exposing the underlying programming and hardware; imagery, however, does something entirely different. An effective image contains at once an explanation and a result. This explanation, or more precisely, the included understanding of a movement is visual, sensory, immediate and intuitive. Do not let the word “image” fool you: it is not only about how something looks, it is about how something looks and feels and happens, at once. Images make you grasp, holistically, the essence of a movement by associating it with something you know. If images are used effectively in dance training, the students will not necessarily require all the mechanical and anatomical details, although in my experience tango students do appreciate this kind of information. Adults often possess some anatomical knowledge and like to understand their bodies intellectually. Yet, after a long explanation on biomechanics, it is always an image that sparks that final understanding and makes the movement work. 

So, what are the parameters of an effective image?

An image, contrary to functional explanation, must convey not only the mechanics of a movement, but most of all its basic INTENTION. Intention is a directional desire that can be expressed by a verb. Intention is the deeper energetic impulse from which the movement derives its shape. If we tell the students: “imagine you are a waiter in an expensive restaurant presenting an exquisite dish to your customer”, this image will have an immediate and very similar response in most people. Each person will straighten up, slightly lift the chin, assume a proud, somewhat arrogant posture and then perform the “presenting” gesture of the arm with a sense of emphasized decorum. Instead, if you say “imagine a proud posture”, this will not have the same immediate and uniform result. It would lead to approximative, caricatural notions of what “a proud posture” means to every single student and, most of all, it will remain STATIC. 

An image must be PRECISE. It must describe a very specific and familiar situation or sensation in order for the student to INSTANTLY identify with it. When teachers say things such as “imagine you are a macho” or “imagine dancing with your heart”, most students will have problems identifying themselves with something at once so general and so prone to diverse interpretations. If the image makes you ask more questions than it answers, if it leaves you with a foggy feeling, it means that the image is not precise or not familiar to you. Unfortunately, a great many tango teachers bedazzle students with all kinds of unskillful imagery, leading to confusion about the most basic biomechanics. For example, consider the often used image of “separating your upper body from your lower body”. It seems to be very precise and to give a clear intention. Yet, this results in people inflating their rib cages, thrusting the chest up, holding in the breath and stiffening in various parts of the body: the opposite of a good dance posture. The term “separating” describes the result, it does not tell HOW to get there. An effective image offers a specific directional vector and a PROCESS. Now, consider the suggestion to “imagine zipping up a pair of very tight pants”. The students will ground their feet on the floor, straighten their legs, suck in the lower abdominals, and bring the pelvic area slightly backwards. At the same time they will straighten the torso upward through the spine and open the chest somewhat forward and up. Now we have a result much closer to what we are looking for in dance posture – and everybody is still breathing.

An image has to speak to people, to come from their own experience. You can only tell someone to “put down his feet softly like a panther” if this person is familiar with panthers. This is where cultural differences play a crucial role. I have heard of an Argentinian teacher telling her students to put down their feet as if crushing an ex-lover who had been mean to them at every step. To me, with my cultural background and experience, such an image is too violent. A more neutral image of “gradually pushing a button into the floor as you arrive on your foot” works better for most of my students. The image of “dancing with the woman as if you wished to have sex with her later” might be comfortably appropriate in one culture yet may block all movement in someone from a different culture.

Ideally, an image should activate a reflex, bypassing all mental effort. Impersonating characters and animals works to a certain extent, provided the students are familiar with what you are talking about. Moods can work well (such as “imagine feeling bouncy, like a Sunday walk, lazily strolling, relaxing in the sun”), as long as they indicate a specific behavior. An image does not necessarily always serve a movement, it can also serve a general attitude in dance, such as “I hold myself proudly like a queen” or “I project my energy into the space in all directions at once”. When your students come to your evening class exhausted from work, do a warming up exercise asking them to jump up and down like children and then to let the tension softly melt through their feet into the ground. Their faces will relax and they will start smiling, letting the energy circulate more freely through their bodies. If you want to learn more about useful dance imagery, I highly recommend books and videos by Eric Franklin.

Yet even the most effective images do not necessarily work for everyone, for various reasons. If you feel a pang of recognition and your movement instantly acquires a specific quality that you were looking for, then the image worked. You should keep it in mind for later practice and dancing. If an image did not work for you, simply find a different one. Each movement can be “imaged” in a myriad of ways. Mystically, images sometimes have an expiry date, they might stop working after a while. This can mean that you have integrated the movement into your system and the image is no longer recognised as fresh. Although each image emphasizes one particular aspect of a movement, at the same time, and this is truly wonderful, it involves your WHOLE BODY in the totality of the given movement. This is also what makes images so powerful: by concentrating on one single intention your body suddenly organises itself around it in a very intelligent and extremely efficient way. 

It may happen that images do not work for you at all or only occasionally. Instead you learn best from visual and sensory examples or with detailed functional explanation. In this case simply tell the teacher that all these “soft panther paws”, “balloons stuck to the chest” and “crushing the brains of your exes” are not doing the job for you. Ask to give you the information in a way that makes you feel the “click” and improves your movement. We all have imagination yet our brains are not all wired in the same way. This is why it is important to find teachers who speak your “language” in terms of learning and to become such a teacher to yourself. Remember that our movements are governed by a system far more complex and intricate than anything we can understand and it is always a combination of things that makes us move in delicious ways, feeling at once light and powerful, spontaneous yet in control, free to express ourselves in dance. Images are often the only gateways leading you to this freedom.

RUSSIAN, ITALIANHUNGARIAN

May 5, 2021

Why tango is tough on women and what to do about it

It is often said that tango is particularly tough on women. When I say “women”, I mean female dancers who prefer the follower’s role. This article is for them and about them – us, me being one of them. This does not mean that tango is not tough on women who prefer the leader’s role or that tango is not tough on men, but these are topics for a different article. Saying that tango is tough on somebody is, of course, nonsense. Tango is no such thing, tango does not exist: it is merely a name we give to an activity shared by a great variety of people who love to dance to a particular music. But because in most tango communities women currently outnumber men, we speak of gender imbalance and this does bring with it a whole array of problems.

Women, students and friends, frequently ask me: “How  can I get more dances? How to get the dancers who ignore me? How not to spend so much time sitting and waiting?” Some say: “I can practice my technique all I want, in the end they will still choose a younger or a more attractive woman.” Followers often feel angry about the general rule of having to wait for the leader’s desire to invite them, they feel pushed back into a passive, victimizing position. Some of them, dissatisfied with it, start actively inviting leaders themselves. Sometimes this strategy works, sometimes it fails. Some women enter a tenacious downward spiral of bitterness in which each new experience seems to confirm the rule of “I am never good enough for this”.

Gender imbalance leads to a tough competition to get the available leaders and especially the better dancing ones. Here, too, exists a spiral, an upward one, one without end: the spiral of trying to be better and better at everything at once, competing with other women on all the levels, the skills, the age, the looks, the sociability, the popularity. Within an enclosed group such as a milonga, this pressure can become unbearable. Especially if you are not very self-confident, dress or look differently from everyone else, consider yourself unattractive, have an introverted temperament and so forth.

This competition among female followers is intensified by a particular phenomenon in our culture and the way our society functions in respect to female gender: women are judged by more and tougher criteria before they are considered any good. In tango this can be clearly seen in how we define who is a “good dancer”. A man will be considered a good dancer – even an excellent one – if he leads well, embraces well, knows interesting moves, interprets the music well, in short, if he is a good LEADER. We care about what a male leader DOES and much less about how he or his dance LOOKS. He may have a clumsy embrace, stooped posture, unathletic body, put his feet down carelessly, yet still be a “good dancer” in everyone’s eyes. However, we will never call a woman a “good dancer” if her posture is bad, her embrace clumsy, her feet inarticulate, her legs incapable of making beautiful lines. Where in male leaders we appreciate the leading skill, from women we demand both good following and aesthetically beautiful dancing. A woman has to DO well and LOOK well at the same time, always. This is why we have many more followers technique classes than leaders technique classes. The advantage is that we push women to become better dancers in the true sense of the word. The disadvantage is that followers need to work much harder to “get there”.

Asking how to get enough dances in a gender-imbalanced situation is, in a way, like asking “Where I live, there is not enough food. How can I still eat enough?” In this perspective we have to accept that gender imbalance can only be solved by gender balance. In many tango events the organisers impose gender balance using a strict registration policy. This helps to create optimal conditions during the event, but makes it automatically harder for unpartnered followers to get a registration for such an event. If you find yourself in a place where gender imbalance is critical, know that there are places and events where this is not the case. Ask around, find these communities, visit events that are more balanced, make friends with leaders you meet. Create yourself a group of leaders you appreciate and who appreciate you and try to meet regularly at some event where you can dance all your heart desires. What you need is simply a certain REGULARITY of good experiences. A trip somewhere once in every three months, or, if you are into tango intensely, once a month.

If you ask me “How to be well in times of shortage?”, then this question offers a different perspective. This is about not letting your psychological well-being depend on the number of leaders you dance with. This is a tough challenge in itself, but a lesson we often have to learn in life: how to make our sense of well-being independent of the things happening or not happening to us.

My advice would be to keep improving your dance skills. In the light of the above this might sound as “too bad, you are born a woman, just work harder”. Yet, to me, thinking that you can be popular and fulfilled in tango without learning the dance skill is like imagining you can be a chef just because you like to eat. Of all the advice I can give, this one is the most pertinent, the most long-term, the most effective. Tango is a dance above all else. What ultimately counts is how you dance. I am not only talking about the tango experience you can offer the other person, I am talking in the first place about what kind of tango experience you can offer YOURSELF. A blissful dance, with a deep human connection and a good dancing skill, makes all other considerations secondary. This is a very simple and profound truth. In tango the most intense happiness is that of a good dance.

“Good dance” remains, of course, a subjective and variable thing. If you manage to see growth as a way to a deeper, stronger enjoyment of the dance, you will progress steadily, your idea of “good dance” will keep changing. No matter your current skill, you can always get better, a tiny bit every time. Skill improvement is not about tedious work to get the desired dancers, it is about giving a present to yourself: the opportunity to become a better dancer for the sake of becoming a better dancer. When you are concerned with the quality, you become less anxious about the quantity.

A combination of these things (improving your skills + regularly taking yourself to a place where you get “enough” dances) – should make your tango life already quite fulfilling. But there is another level on which things can function well if you are persistent. Make sure that in everything concerning tango you navigate towards things that make you most joyful. It is important to put yourself in a good mood before you enter a milonga, for example: ready for delightful surprises, but not taking it too seriously when things do not go well. For this you need to actively look for things that bring you in this mood. Try to follow your joy in every choice, which places you go to, how you prefer to look and dress, how you wish to dance, when you would like to rest, where you like to sit and so on. When I say “joy” I do not mean pleasure, although pleasure is often part of the experience. What gives you joy is very much defined by your temperament. When people see me sitting by myself at a distance just watching the dance floor for an hour they often think I am cold, unapproachable and lonely. Yet to me these are joyful, happy, peaceful moments, because I am introverted. You might be at your most joyful surrounded by people talking and shouting and drinking. You have to know what is you and what is not you. If you keep weaving your tango experience from joyful micro-moments, you will be a happier person and a more desirable partner. It will protect you from sliding down the spiral of dissatisfaction.

In the eyes of many women tango, being a reflection of our culture, seems to favour “the young and the beautiful”. This is true for men who love dancing with beautiful young women, but this is just as true for women: we, too, love to be in the arms of young and handsome. It is important to realise, however, that in most tango communities the average age is rather high.The young crowd is often a minority. Thinking that tango is only for the young would be denying this reality. The young ones are often more passionate about becoming better dancers, but tango remains one of the very few dances in our Western culture where professionals of seventy-something still get to perform and teach at international festivals, receiving standing ovations. If you are at any age past forty and only now decided to learn tango, remember that there are many, many people out there who are exactly like you. What you need is to connect to them.

As for beauty, tango is actually a surprisingly democratic dance. This comes, again, from the simple truth that ultimately what counts is the DANCE. Beauty standards change, like fashion. When I started tango sixteen years ago my pants were long and wide and my hair short; nowadays my hair is long and my skirts are short and tight. During the “nuevo” years in Europe a lithe, flat-chested, androgynous type of female dancer was popular, nowadays it is the sexy, curvy, thin-waisted feminine type. Also, because the average age in tango is high, our subcultural beauty standards favour the adult, fully developed woman rather than a girl. No matter how you look or dress, if your priority is to love this dance, then you will always have that as your most valuable asset. Fashion, beauty images, tango itself may change, but love for the dance will not. Love and joy are always there, at the core of things, every time.

RUSSIANCHINESE

August 10, 2015

Why your dance does not look good despite all the practicing

Once, in a class, a woman asked me: “How can I dance beautifully?” It would have been easier for me to tell her right there how to be happy or what is the meaning of life. Beauty in dance is a complex and multi-layered issue and is difficult to convey in a couple of sentences. So how can you dance beautifully? And what IS beautiful?

Our perception of beauty is at once universal and highly subjective. On one hand, scientists have shown that there are certain visual and auditory patterns that we unconsciously consider beautiful. It seems we come into this world with a beauty radar tuned to certain signals. Research suggests that a pleasant aesthetic experience is triggered by patterns found in the fabric of the universe, like the golden ratio, and so our emotional reaction to beauty is a reaction to something that is fundamentally TRUE to us. On the other hand, aesthetic experience varies greatly from person to person. We do not know why some works of art touch one person more than another, but we know that our taste in beautiful things is influenced and shaped by our previous experience, our education and our personality. This is why you sometimes totally dislike a dancer that everyone around you adores.

You can argue about beauty till you are sore, yet everyone will stick to his or her opinion. Why is that? Because beauty is not something we think, it is something we FEEL. Things we find beautiful are those that resonate directly, as scientists observe, with our deepest sense of self. Our inner notions of beauty change over time, through our activities. For such a notion to change we need to have an internal emotional shift. You cannot make yourself like something by simply saying “this must be beautiful, everyone says so” but such a shift in your perception can happen over time. As a beginner you probably thought some tangos sounded boring and silly, but now they touch you emotionally. Contemporary dance, for example, might at a first glance seem foreign and incomprehensible, but the more you watch and learn about it, the more you develop an emotional response to it, until some choreographies directly touch your “beauty nerve”.

The context for us finding certains things beautiful is defined by the cumulative preferences of a particular audience at a particular moment in time. What we found beautiful in tango ten years ago we find less beautiful now. Tango evolves and so do our ideas, collectively. At every moment in time we uphold standards by which we define dance as beautiful. If this were not so, we would not be able to hold tango competitions or even teach how to dance. These collective preferences basically tell a newcomer: “This is what most people like nowadays in this field. It is OK to like it.”

Yet, as often, tango is a special case. It is one of those rare dances in which the way your dance feels to your partner is much more important than the way your dance looks. Therefore you do not have to dance beautifully to give another person a fulfilling experience. It might sound like a paradox when talking about dance, but remember that tango is similar to conversation. You can have many interesting things to say, create an authentic warm connection, be musical, funny, reactive and an excellent listener. And you can be all of that PLUS express your ideas with style. Dancing beautifully is a skill, something you need to train like you would train rhetorical skills to speak in public. Usually only professional dancers take it that far and this is why you watch their videos and not just anybody’s.

Although we value most how it feels, we do believe that a beautifully dancing person will also be a great partner to dance with. The reason for this is that the most beautifully dancing people are usually accomplished dancers in every sense. Aesthetics play a role in both choosing and attracting potential dance partners. Does it make a difference to your partner if you dance beautifully? Of course. A meal is not just a meal when cooked by a great chef. A visually beautiful movement has a wonderful kinetic quality. If you are a good leader/follower and you also move beautifully, you will give your partner a very special aesthetic pleasure.

At some point in your development you might get the feeling that despite all the learning and practicing your dance still looks mediocre. Watching yourself on video or photos is a traumatizing experience, as you compare yourself to dancers you love watching. You could say that you don’t care much for visual aesthetics and concentrate on how to give the best feeling to yourself and your partner. This is a good strategy, which will always pay off. The social environment in tango is mostly about communication, to dance beautifully is not a strict necessity. When you walk into a milonga you see many people not dancing beautifully at all, yet they are all having a wonderful time.

If you wish to develop a beautiful dance, you need to be aware of three main factors that influence the way your dance looks.

The first factor I will call EMBODIMENT. It is the way your body moves at any time as the result of your personal history, your life, your activities and your psychological state. Your body has grown into your current life much like a tree adapts itself to the surrounding conditions. In Western Europe, for example, most tango people have an intellectual background and their professional activities demand to sit for long hours in front of a computer. Such a lifestyle results in a tense shoulder area, forward protrusion of the head, inflexible pelvis and weak legs: just about the opposite of what is needed in dance.

The way you move and hold yourself will define how easy or difficult learning a dance will be for you and also how your dance will look. A lot of students start their tango classes basically as a brain on two legs. The good news is that embodiment changes when your activities change. Your current way of moving influences how you dance, but learning a new dance will also eventually influence the way you move. These changes, especially postural ones, are slow but possible.

A beautifully moving body is naturally toned, holds itself upright without effort, finds balance easily, its posture and gait are anatomically efficient, its movements are smooth and harmonious. Such a body is highly reactive, spontaneously adequate in its reactions and generally relaxed, meaning it is free of tension. Tension is the opposite of movement and therefore the enemy of dance. If one part of your body is holding itself in a tensed position during the dance it will spoil the visual impression, no matter how masterful you are in your steps.

Some people seem to be naturally more in touch with their bodies than others, more conscious of their body parts and their subtle muscular sensations. Just like the “natural dancers” I wrote about in my article on musicality, you can easily spot such people in a crowd. You will notice their relaxed bodily attitude and a distinct harmony of movements. The ways in which they move can be very different, from sensual to elegant to powerfully dominating, yet they all have one thing in common: their movements are free of excess tension. You cannot be tense and move sensually. You cannot be tense and dance elegantly, or play, or make love with abandonment. Tension is not only the opposite of movement: it is also the opposite of joy.

Your embodiment is further defined by your psychological state, your sense of self as a unique separate human being. As Alan Watts wrote “I have discovered that the ego is a chronic and habitual sense of muscular strain”. A lot of tension in our muscles is the result of our ego-related anxieties. Mindfulness meditation or simply being in a happy mood makes your body more relaxed because you loosen up the tightness inside yourself that you unconsciously associate with this feeling of “me” and what this “me” represents. When you relax your mental grip, you let go of some of your muscular tension. In dance it is very important to be able to let go of this imagined tight “me” to dance from your true expansive self.

Body sensitivity is underdeveloped in many people due to a life-long focus on processing and producing information inside their heads. But it can be cultivated. The more you move in awareness of how you move, the more you will improve the way you move, and the better you move, the better you will feel physically and mentally. Many body education techniques allow you to change in a profound way: Feldenkrais, Alexander, Rolfing, Yoga, Pilates, Gyrotonic, Qi Gong and so forth. Dancing tango also re-educates your body, but tango is less effective than, for example, solo dances. Tango is a communication dance in which the priority is given to adapting oneself to the partner and the situation, not to developing a better looking body. Tango is more of a party than a workout, unless you are training intensively. If you want lasting structural changes you should do some bodywork next to tango.

The second important factor in beauty is the MOVEMENT QUALITY itself. Irrespective of style, there are some criteria by which any dance can be considered beautiful. When practicing, remember to work on these criteria and you will soon notice a clear change in the aesthetics.

A beautiful movement is one that makes meaningful lines in space. This means that each movement has a certain given trajectory, logical within the whole. Dance is what happens while you are creating those lines with your body and it comes down to HOW you create them. Making beautiful lines means completing each movement’s trajectory fully. Even if your movements still do not look special, simply completing each of them will make your dance look more beautiful. This fullness is also part of the inherent musicality of each movement. A musician would never skip or shorten a note when playing, it would immediately ruin the harmony. An incomplete movement is neither beautiful nor musical.

A beautiful dancer also keeps his or her energy flowing. This does not mean you should be visibly moving all the time, but even when you are standing completely still you should “continue to vibrate”, as one of my ballet teachers said. “You can always tell a dancer who vibrates from one who is just standing there.” Like musicians: even during silence, as long as the silence is part of the musical piece, a musician will keep the energy moving, expanding, vibrating inside. Energy moves wavelike, compressing and releasing, charging and firing, a movement you find in everything: breathing, muscles, bandoneons, life.  

And so a truly beautiful movement looks effortless. This means that only the necessary amount of energy is spent and for this your whole body needs to participate. In tango this means, for example, keeping yourself balanced on one leg while the other leg is drawing a line on the floor. The movement of the free leg can only be effortless if the rest of the body is working to keep itself in balance. To make any movement effortless you need to build the necessary muscular strength and to learn to be in balance at any time, so that your body is not stressed by the gravity pull and not tensing as a result. Beautiful dance looks like flying, not like moving furniture. Give time to your muscles to build strength and to your nervous system to rewire for better control of what you do.

Tango is composed of two skills (communication and individual technique) and visual beauty is part of your technical skill. When in despair, remind yourself that aesthetics do not just happen, they need to be trained. A beautiful dance has to be re-created again and again every time you dance. For an adult who has never danced before it will be harder to learn how to dance beautifully than to learn how to lead or follow. In our daily life we physically lead and follow each other much more often than we are aware of, so these reflexes are already well developed, while moving beautifully is not. You will have to practice by yourself, alone, and you will need good visual examples. Even if you are a visually-oriented person, you will need a DETAILED EXPERT EXPLANATION of the biomechanics behind that movement. You cannot dance beautifully if the movement is not well understood and felt inside your body. For practicing you will need a mirror (and a video camera) and to remind yourself every time that the way your dance feels to you is NOT the way your dance really looks.

Just like in visual art paint has to become color, so in dance “doing” has to become “being”. This brings me to the next factor: your PRESENCE. You can always tell when a dancer is working hard, stressing about the result, executing a routine or when s/he is truly dancing. “Becoming” dance is what ultimately dance is all about and it means to be fully present in what your body is doing, at once being the dancer and letting the dance happen through you. For this you will need to concentrate your full attention every time on here and now and completely, consciously, abandon yourself to the dance. If you do this, a strangely wonderful thing will happen: people will find your dance beautiful although it might be far from beauty standards. You will be openly and genuinely yourself and this vulnerability, this truth of human experience will never fail to resonate with everyone’s deepest sense of self.

RUSSIANROMANIANPOLISH

September 6, 2015

Why you should practice tango both alone and in couple

During my teaching trips I am often asked by the students what would be the best practice routine to progress steadily and especially what kind of practice is most beneficial: alone, in a couple, in a class or in a practica?

In order to answer this question one should understand that in tango we are talking about TWO distinct skills. The first skill is that of your own capacity to dance to the music, to keep your balance, to execute the steps, to move in space et cetera. The second skill is that of communicating with your partner, or what we call “leading” and “following”, the skill of creating a connection.

When talking about a dance that we do alone on stage (say, contemporary, hip hop or belly dance, to name a few) we are talking about the first skill, namely, your own movement. In “solo” dances there is no notion of communicating continuously with a partner whom you hold closely in your arms. There is a notion of partnering techniques in many stage dances, but they are different from tango, as stage dances are often choreographed and do not happen in close embrace.

To understand why in tango (or other couple dances based on improvising together) we are talking about two skills, imagine a professional well-trained stage dancer whom you teach all the “tricks”: the full tango vocabulary and how to use it to the music. This dancer will absorb it quickly, due to his or her dance background, and will execute them alone with marvellous precision and grace in any given order, perfectly musical. Yet, give this dancer a partner to lead or follow in a complete improvisation and s/he will be a hopeless mess.

Now imagine an average person, a woman, for example, with no dance background whatsoever who starts with tango classes. During classes and practicas she learns how to listen to her partner, how to react to the lead in terms of direction, speed and movement, when and how much to pivot, when to stop, when to go. She visits milongas and dances with anybody who invites her, adapting to any kind of lead (or lack thereof). Within one year this woman develops quite a pleasant embrace, she follows well and mostly in the music, she greatly enjoys dancing tango, she easily accepts all kinds of leaders and therefore rarely sits down for a long time. Her partners like her for her “partnering” qualities (her trusting embrace, her lively reaction to the lead and the music) but also very much for her “human factor”: her enjoyment of the dance, her openness and positive attitude. Considering her popularity, she begins to think of herself as a rather good dancer and it starts to annoy her that the best dancers of the place never invite her. She feels “ready” for them, she thinks they are snobbing her simply because they are afraid to try out someone new. She feels (and has been told repeatedly) that she has lots of very nice qualities in her dance, so why don’t they come after her?

One day she watches a video of herself. Naturally, her visual references are the highly skilled professionals she watches on YouTube as well as the best dancers in town, with their perfect feet, high voleos, amazing speed and elegant postures. She is suddenly deeply disturbed to see herself dance. Her legs look weak and ungraceful, her feet are inarticulate and randomly put; she loses her balance a lot and is slow to react; her upper body lacks stance, her pelvis is tilted, her head locks itself in an unnatural position and so on and so forth. She suddenly understands why some of the better dancers ignore her. At this point she wonders why anyone would care to dance with her AT ALL, seeing how badly it looks. It is in this situation that the separateness of the two skills become clearly apparent: she is not bad at all as a follower but is not yet an accomplished DANCER in the true sense of the word.

At this point she has a choice: either to do some work on improving her dancing skills or to go on being a “nice partner” to those who appreciate her, therefore never moving up to better levels. Women are usually strongly motivated to do something about their skill because in most tango communities we have a gender imbalance and followers, contrary to leaders, need to show much more quality in order to keep dancing. So this woman, too, decides to take dedicated technique classes to improve her skill. Women are generally more eager to practice technique, even if it is only to make their feet and legs look pleasing when wearing a skirt. Men, on the other hand, are often content to practice only being a good leader (or a good “driver”). They are rarely interested in working alone on their pivots, dissociation and balance. Long wide trousers hide the somewhat clumsy movements of the legs and anyway, everybody is mostly paying attention to the beauty of the woman dancing, not her male partner, so who cares how he puts down his feet.

The example above illustrates that in tango we have this peculiar notion of HOW IT LOOKS versus HOW IT FEELS. In stage dances “how it looks” is the most important aspect and how it feels is a strictly private matter for the dancer in question. In tango there are two “how-it-feels” factors: how your own dance feels to yourself and how it feels to your partner, which is of great importance for communication. Although many times people choose their dance partners in a milonga by how it looks, they will most certainly come back to this dance partner (or not) by how it feels. This also explains the recurring phenomenon “he (she) does not look like anything special but the dance felt amazing!” as well as its exact opposite.

If we are talking about two distinct skills in tango, it logically follows that you need to practice both. You could, of course, give priority to one above the other. However, when one of the two skills is heavily underdeveloped it will inevitably affect the total experience. The most delicate, sensitive and well-embracing follower will not be able to give a very satisfying dance experience to her leader if she keeps losing her balance. Or, to take an opposite example, the most virtuoso gyros-with-enrosque leader will not be very pleasant to dance with if he lacks connection.

Herein lies a further difficulty. Although we are talking about two separate skills, in practice they are expressed in one and the same movement pattern. This is why people often do not even realise that we are talking about two different skills. Yet, it becomes much clearer if you consider how humans talk, for example: such an activity is also a combination of skills. The skill of pronouncing the words and shaping sounds that you learn as a child; the skill of building sentences and making yourself understandable that you acquire while still very young; and yet a different intellectual skill of conveying what you want to say in a way that has a certain impact on the other person. All of this also happens within one and the same “movement pattern” of talking. If you look closer into practically any activity, you will see how many different skills are involved.

In tango we have adopted the habit of calling the first skill TECHNIQUE and the second CONNECTION or COMMUNICATION. It is a bit silly, as communicating in tango is also a technique. If your teacher tells you that the communication is “just something you have to feel” or “do it with your heart”, find yourself another teacher fast. There is no doubt that communication is something you have to feel and your heart is somewhere in it as well, but it is an ACTION and therefore can be demonstrated, explained and learnt. A teacher who is not able to explain exactly how one leads or follows, either does not know how to do it or is not able to put it into words. Communication skill should never be confused with the “human factor”. It is true that human factor influences the total experience and can make certain things much easier (such as being attentive and responsive). Still, just as we can teach someone how to talk, we can teach someone to communicate through body movements and intentions to dance tango. 

Back in the old days, when the dancers did not yet have a very developed knowledge of tango as a set of skills and how to teach them, every maestro had to find everything out for himself (or herself) or simply copy someone else. In those days the teaching mostly came down to statements “do as I do” for the TECHNIQUE and rough physical manipulation or “you have to feel it in your heart” adage for the COMMUNICATION part. Consequently, a maestro couple could pretend to hold the holy grail of sacred knowledge if they actually managed to explain how to do it. It was especially the communication skill that led to the creation of many mysteries about what is “true tango” and where to get it, cultivating an atmosphere of mystique around those who danced well, mostly residents of the tango mecca. Students who did not manage to understand how the communication worked felt that it was their own fault: they were either not talented, not sensitive or not Argentinean enough.

You see, it is generally much easier to show and explain how one should walk or pivot than to teach how to lead another person to do it, or how to do it in response to a lead. Take into account that in Europe the first traveling Argentinean maestros had to teach dancers who did not speak any Spanish, so they had to do it in English or another language that those maestros hardly spoke themselves. It is more or less possible to explain a visible movement by using simple verbal vocabulary, but it becomes next to impossible to do it with the communication skill. Communication involves intentions and micro-movements within the main “visible” movement, it is like explaining the subtleties of a martial art, of a meditation practice, of energy and connection in contemporary dance. When a good explanation is lacking, it can easily give the impression of being something mystical, only accessible to a few chosen ones with the “corazón” (or the balls, or whatever you prefer) in the right place. 

Historically, the communication skill got most of the attention, for the simple reason that you needed some basic knowledge of leading and following to be able to go to a milonga. This is why still, just as in the old days, we teach beginners to walk and move together from the very first class instead of first teaching them the technique of their own dance. It is only in the past years, with tango becoming more and more complex technically, that dancers realise the importance of such things as balance, dissociation and footwork. Of course, when practicing in a couple you also practice your technique, but the fact of being with a partner shifts your attention to the communication and away from your own movement. Practicing alone allows you to literally find yourself inside the dance, undisturbed by other factors. You have to understand that in tango the person you dance with is not your primary dance partner, paradoxically. The first person you need to connect to is yourself, then you need to connect to the floor and next, to the music. Only then will you be able to connect properly to another person as well.

Nowadays most competent teachers are able to explain how to lead and follow without involving too much of the “tango mystique”. We have also discovered, in the past years, that it is indeed not as hard as it seemed before. Thus, we can now dismantle the myth of leading skill being something very, very difficult, or that you have to be a “real woman” (whatever that means) to become a milonguera. We have learnt to separate the human factor from the competence, without diminishing the importance of the human factor in the total. Nowadays people learn in two years what it took their maestros to learn in six. The abundance of video material also plays an important role. Of course, teachers who find themselves unable to explain the biomechanics of tango will still fall back on the “mystique” or the human factor, like that (yes, Argentinean) teacher who once told a female student of mine that there was “not enough sex” in her dance. But the students are buying less and less into that kind of reasoning.

To come back to the original question, the most effective practice routine is one that includes both individual (technique) work and couple (communication) practice. Depending on what you feel is most lacking in your set of skills you can temporarily give priority to one or the other, but it is advisable to keep the two skills in balance. People often feel the need to add an extra bodywork activity, such as yoga, Pilates or another kind of dance to improve their tango. Any kind of bodywork that makes you more aware of your movement, strengthens your core, improves your posture and balance, will indeed help you to become a better learner of tango. However, thinking that yoga or Pilates will make you better at tango is like thinking that learning French will make you better at Spanish. You will still need to learn Spanish to speak Spanish. These body techniques are CONDITIONING practices. Other dances will also not necessarily make you a better tango dancer, but they will definitely help you to become a better dancer generally. In my experience, people with a background in martial arts and modern or contemporary dance are the quickest to learn and understand what tango is all about: a continuous exchange of energy through movement. And like in life and in love, there is still a truly magical part in tango that keeps us addicted to it. It remains magical no matter how well we understand its inner workings. It is the magic of two human beings connecting through music and dance and it is magical not so much because of HOW it happens but because of it happening at all.

CHINESERUSSIANSLOVENIANGERMAN

March 2, 2015

Why musicality is hard to teach, but not impossible

One of the most difficult topics for teachers as well as for students is musicality. It is fairly easy to explain musical theory, the rhythmical structure of a tango song, how to identify the strong beat, follow the melody, recognise various instruments and understand when a phrase starts and when it finishes. However, all this information, albeit essential, will not make anyone dance musically. No matter how much time a teacher spends talking about musical theory, this in itself will not produce dancers who are more musical. Then what will? And how can someone who has never danced before become a musical dancer in tango?

First, we need to understand what it means to be musical.

Sensitivity to music is the ability to recognise musical patterns: feel the rhythm, identify the melodic line, distinguish harmonies, sounds and so on. This ability comes in various degrees. Some people only recognise musical patterns and feel them, but are not able to move their body rhythmically (clap the hands, tap the feet, walk in the beat). Other people not only hear the music well, but can also associate what they are hearing with a rhythmical movement of the body. The first musical instruments in the prehistoric times were drums (therefore the word “beat”). Music-making and dancing were often one and the same activity, for ritual and shamanic purposes. Primitive tribes still make music by adorning their bodies with sound-making objects and then dancing. We also sing to make music, the human voice becoming a musical instrument.

Nowadays our musical instruments are technically so complex and the various dance forms so rich that we have a clear specialization in “musicians” and “dancers”. (For the sake of the argument I will keep the singers in the “musicians” group as singers use their body to reproduce music as if it were an instrument). We also know that it requires two different talents to become a musician or a dancer. If the body of a musician uses its movement to extract sound waves from an object, the body of a dancer does something very different: it creates an association between a musical pattern and body movement in such a way that the two fuse into one coherent expression. (Orchestra conductors are possibly the ones who still do both: they “dance” to extract music from the “instrument” that is an orchestra. They are the contemporary shamans.)

We can therefore identify three different abilities: hearing (sensitivity to music), hearing + playing (making music) and hearing + dancing (associating movement with music). Most people have at least some degree of musical hearing and this is why music is still the most widely enjoyed art of all, in any culture.

What does it mean to be a musical dancer? It is not enough to be simply musical, although this is the necessary starting point. A dancer needs to have this particular ability to associate music to movement, to become music that has become movement. Like musicians, people who dedicate themselves to dance have this gift from birth. Yet, as I said, this ability comes in VARIOUS DEGREES.

One can be basically musical or exceptionally musical. Just like there are many naturally musical people who play instruments without becoming a musician, there are many “natural born dancers”. Most children dance naturally when very small. While growing up we often lose the naturalness of our musical movement, our brain and body giving priority to developing other skills. Yet some people keep it and are easy to spot: they have an unstoppable urge to move the moment they hear music that they like. You can see them in night clubs, at parties, even on the street swaying or tapping their feet to the sound coming out of their headphones. People who learn to dance at an adult age are often from this group, because dance is always looking to express itself through their bodies. However, in tango classes I also see a lot of people who either never were “natural born dancers” or have somehow lost this particular connection between hearing and moving.

When a person is a “natural dancer”, certain things in a tango class will be easier for them than for others. Stepping in the beat, recognising accents, making pauses, slowing down or accelerating together with the music, all this will not have to be explained, just shown. This student’s ability will be further fine tuned to the particularities of tango as a music and a dance, often less by watching a teacher than by simply finding his or her own ways of expression. The “naturals” often prefer not to hear too much of musical theory for it takes them out of their intuitive following of music, confuses them, and requires a mental effort they never had to do. They dance to a syncope naturally but have a hard time analysing why and how they do it.

When a person is not a “natural dancer”, things will be more difficult for them and subsequently also for the dance teacher. Everything, from stepping into the beat to choosing when to pause or to accelerate, will require a lot of attention and practice. Because it needs so much work, many teachers (and students) tend to give up on musicality altogether or keep it to basic theoretical knowledge. People tend to believe that it is not possible to make someone a truly musical dancer: you either have this gift or you don’t. I would rephrase it: I believe it is much easier to help someone become a musical dancer when s/he is already naturally gifted for it, but the other task is not impossible either.

As I said, most of us have a musical hearing built into our brain. Anything we already have as neural connections in our brain can be further developed and reinforced. Learning a particular dance is about learning to associate a given movement vocabulary to a given music in a meaningful way. Here “meaningful” means following the musical parameters. Training your brain to better understand and recognise the parameters of a musical piece can help you to associate your movement to it in a more precise way.

To tango students who struggle with musicality, I would give the following advice. You will need to reinforce two areas of your skills: first, your hearing of music, and second your music-to-movement association. Your hearing of music can be improved by listening to it a lot and learning to consciously recognise and identify its parameters: beats, structure, phrasing, melody, instruments and so forth. Here I am talking not only of the theoretical (rational) recognition but also of the “sensations” that hearing creates inside your being. Hearing the violin strike a phrase also means feeling something inside yourself respond to it as if you were a violin yourself (NB: a violin, not a violinist). It might sound strange to you, but this is what happens when you listen to a piece of music you truly love: inside your being something BECOMES it, as if somehow your soul took on that musical shape.

The second skill can be improved in two ways (and I suggest you use both). The first method is to associate the music to some kind of simple movement: walking, tapping of feet, nodding of the head, even singing, until it becomes intuitively right. This will reinforce your sense of RHYTHM. The second method is to allow yourself to dance in a completely free way to tango music, letting go of the tango vocabulary. Thinking of doing the correct moves often requires so much effort on our part that we become incapable of doing it musically. So, take time alone to dance to tango music whichever way you please. Groove to it. Hiphop to it. Sway, rock, swing, whirl, shake your bonbon to it. You will do your brain and your body an immense favor: your nervous system will start building neural connections between what you hear and how you would like to move to it. It will start liberating your DANCE EXPRESSION. In the tango class, associating the “proper” vocabulary to music will then become easier because your body will feel more free moving to music at all. These methods are used with children when teaching them to dance or to play instruments. In your learning process you should take advantage of both becoming like a child again AND using the power of your conscious mind.

For those who find themselves thinking “yes, this is all very nice, but I truly have no sense of rhythm, I am so stiff in my body, I feel helpless and awkward when asked to move to any kind of music” I can say the following: think of people diagnosed with autism. They find themselves incapable of recognising the emotions of others and adequately reacting to them. Yet, with proper technique and practice, they learn to do it by working with the visible PARAMETERS they CAN recognise. They learn to associate a certain facial expression with “fear” and rationally choose an appropriate response. They do not become truly empathic but can live a much more connected life socially. If you feel you are “musically autistic”, remember that your brain has a plasticity you are not aware of and that there are methods of developing your musicality, just as there are methods for autists to lead a social life. It will require dedication, patience and work, but it will pay off in ways you never imagined.

For teachers I would suggest not to give up on the “unmusical students”. Giving up on them says more about your own inability to teach them than about their inability to learn. Most dance teachers are naturally musical, intuitive dancers. If you are one of those, then your responsibility as a teacher is to ANALYSE rationally what you do and to explain it to students who are not able to just copy it. You will have to know a lot more about rhythmic structures, how to count the beat, where to find the syncopes, what makes a phrase a phrase. Just like to an autistic person you would say “I am fearful therefore my body becomes rigid and my face serious” you would have to explain to some students “I pause and hold the pause here because I hear this instrument stop playing and the other instruments hold the same note”. 

It sounds like a laborious and counter-intuitive way, but believe me, it helps with the cases everyone (including themselves) consider helpless. Of course, you can also just give up on them. You can always say that without a natural gift one cannot be a dancer. You will always be right, at least partially, and you will create an air of superiority around your own talent and that of the “chosen ones”. Yet, I personally believe that tango, of all dances, is one that people can enjoy at any age, with any body type and any innate abilities. I also believe that talent is only the beginning of things, never the end, and that with the right kind of practice we can arrive in places we never dreamt of before.

RUSSIANCHINESEGERMAN

May 24, 2015

Why we are often confused about what it means to be “social”

Tango is a social dance and as such has these two components: “social” and “dance”. We all have a more or less clear idea of the “dance” component and how to get it. We all know what a skillful dancer looks like, Youtube is full of them and in a milonga we always immediately identify the “good” ones. We love watching them and want to be like them, for mastery of dance is a thing of great beauty.

But what about the “social” component? What kind of a skill is that? What does it mean to be social in tango?

On the first and most basic level, being social means respecting the common rules and practices of a particular tango context. They are sometimes very democratic and sometimes very strict, from the gender-dividing sitting arrangements in the traditional milongas of Buenos Aires to the completely free social interactions of a tango marathon. If you come to a place in which everyone respects a certain dress code (say, a Grand Saturday Ball of a big festival) and you are dressed like you just walked your dog, the message you are sending is “Carry on, I am not part of this party”. You will be probably left sitting, ignored by most people, not because they are evil, but because for them at this moment you are NOT IN THE GAME. If you do not respect the good practices of a place, you cannot complain that people do not accept you “as you are”. It does not work in tango, just as it does not work anywhere else.

On the second level, being social means respecting other dancers, both on the dancefloor and around it. A large part of it is floorcraft, the other part is the dynamic of inviting, being invited and general social interactions. Annoying, intrusive or aggressive invitations, barging in on an intimate conversation, stalking, acting insulted when rejected, forcing yourself onto a person instead of using delicate methods of approach: all of these are examples of a not very social behaviour. Respecting also means helping to keep up a friendly and relaxed atmosphere. Sour faces, loud criticism, noisy distractions, being drunk, quarrelling with your friends or loved ones in public, jealous outbursts, annoying other people with your remarks, bothering the DJ with your musical requests, complaining to the organisers while they are working: all this is a disruptive behaviour that negatively affects the atmosphere. Coming to an event in a bad mood and expecting other people to make your day is also an example of asocial behaviour, albeit a more subtle one.

The third level is of being social is respecting your dance partners, people with whom you interact the closest, or the “human factor” in the dance. It includes everything from smelling nice and being polite between the dances to creating an authentic human connection in the dance itself. It is about being responsive, sensitive to the partner’s intentions, flexible, not manipulative or otherwise physically disturbing. To me, being social in tango means these three things: respecting the context, respecting other dancers and respecting your dance partners. What you do with your time within those parameters is entirely your business, just as it is entirely your business with whom you to choose to do it.

There exists, however, a different idea of what it means to be social in tango. According to that idea the more people you dance with, the more social you are. And you are considered even more social if you dance with a lot of people you actually don’t want to dance with, but who want to dance with you or simply want to dance. The core of this idea is the belief that being social (or altruistic) is about forsaking your desires and answering to the desires of others. By this definition, a dancer who only wants a certain quality of dance experience in terms of mastery and skill, can never be truly social and is therefore an arrogant snob. In this paradigm beginners are the most social dancers of all and professionals are total assholes, unless they make a deliberate effort to dance with people they’d rather not dance with. In this case they are considered social and humble DESPITE being an amazing dancer. Being accomplished becomes the opposite of being nice. How often have you heard the remark “S/he is a great dancer, yet still such a nice and humble person”?

Where does this idea of sociability as a service come from? From the importance we attach to generosity as a social value. It comes from an often repeated statement that when you were a beginner, more advanced dancers danced with you to make you feel welcome, so, when you advance, you should do the same service to others. The common belief is that, when you become a better dancer, you have something to give to others, an important asset which is your capability to create a fulfilling dance experience, so you should generously bestow it on those who haven’t got it yet. It is true that in many cases beginners rely on the “kindness of strangers” when they come to tango, but they also dance with other beginners, as well as with people who specifically love to dance with beginners (leaders with beginner followers, mostly). Being too generous has a downside. It is often this “being just out of reach” of a certain desirable dancer that pushes us to grow.

There are situations in which you would probably be thankful to another dancer for being generous and dancing with you: when you are new to a place, when you are a total beginner, when you have been feeling alone and abandoned. If a dancer shows you this kind of generosity in a genuine way you should appreciate it, but remember that it is a choice, not an obligation. Tango is not a community service, it is a passion. People come to dance first of all to enjoy themselves, not to see whether they could be of help. Each time you find yourself resenting other dancers for not being generous enough towards you, I suggest you ask yourself a question: to whom have I been generous myself today? If you want generosity, first go and give it. The simplest way is to find a dancer you would normally reject and dance with him or her WITH A GENUINE DESIRE to be generous. Only when you regularly do something yourself can you expect the same thing from others. Expect, but not demand.

There exists a belief that this attitude of “sociability as a service to others” helps to forge stronger communities when dancers mix with each other rather than create “niches” based on affinity. There is a lot of truth to it, especially for small local scenes with little external influence that want to keep their integrity and an atmosphere free of mutual resentment. However, if a community wants to cultivate a higher level of dancing, advanced dancers should be free to dance with whomever they want to without being judged or otherwise pressured, so that they can inspire others to progress.

There is also another important component to this idea of sociability, namely the pressure to dance “with as many people as you can”. Tango, being an introverted dance, attracts many introverts into its midst. “Dancing with as many people as you can” is not a very introvert way of socializing, though. It is the extravert way of being social (leaving the skill factor aside for a moment). A typical introvert would dance two-three intense tandas with a person s/he has been hoping to dance with the whole evening and then go sit quietly in a corner, waiting for the emotions to calm. An extravert, meanwhile, might go from partner to partner with hardly a cortina in between. An introvert would have one long personal conversation with a friend, while an extrovert would collect the latest gossip, greet every person in the room, chat with several old friends and have a drink with a few new ones. We as a society have a very extraverted idea of what “social” means, for the simple reason that extraverts are a majority and real party animals. If we keep this extraverted criteria of sociability we are basically saying that introverts can never be social, but that’s absurd.

Because of this widespread idea of what it means to be social in tango we have an ongoing conflict of interests. On one hand, tango dancers are stimulated to learn and develop their dance, not only because their teachers would like that very much, but because developing your skill brings intensely pleasurable dance experience and because we want to be like the dancers we admire. On the other hand, this notion of losing one’s social credits weighs heavily on everyone wishing to become a better dancer and to connect to better partners. Dancers are made to feel guilty for not dancing with as many people as possible, for not being generous to others and sharing their “assets”. This pressure is driven by the idea that quantity matters. Instead, quantity is irrelevant altogether. What counts is the QUALITY of what you do, the kind of energy you put into it. 

Once we accept that being social means showing respect on three levels (context, dancers around you and your dance partners) and we relinquish the idea of sociability being the number of dances or the willingness to service others, but instead the QUALITY we put in all our interactions, then I believe we will have our social values in the right place. Furthermore, you can only be truly social when you are in touch with your authentic self. Because, you see, tango is both “social” and “dance”, but neither of them is tango’s real purpose. The real purpose of tango is JOY and we all have our own idea of what gives us the most profound joy. To some it means dancing a lot, to others it means dancing well with that special person. To some it means socializing with friends, to others being generous to people in need. So let’s be social, let’s be dancers, let’s all be different, but most of all let’s be joyful.

RUSSIANCHINESEGERMAN, POLISH

December 20, 2014

Why most advice you get about your dancing is wrong

Sometimes a student would tell me during a class: “You know, a dancer I danced with recently told me…” and then follows some kind of feedback, criticism or advice. For followers some recurring examples are: “You are too heavy, be lighter”, “You are not in balance, put down your heel”, “Give more resistance in the embrace”. For leaders it can be “You are not leading with the music”, “You should lead more with your center”, “Be more of a macho” and so on. My students get confused with such statements and ask me what they should do. I hear these things mostly from women, because I have more women students but also because women ponder such remarks a lot more, letting the criticism affect their self-judgement, and are more willing to talk about it with a teacher. Leaders prefer not to talk about being criticized by their partners unless the problem is urgent.

Tango is a couple dance and it is important to be aware of how your dance feels to your partners as well as how their dance feels to you. Since the beginning of tango there exists a belief that your dance partners are the best authority when it comes to judging your dance. It is largely true, especially when it comes to the “human factor”. Yet, and this might come as a surprise, when another dancer gives you advice he or she is often wrong.

There are three angles from which you can analyse a movement: the way it feels, the way it looks and the way it is performed in terms of actions. When something between you and your partner is not working, it first becomes clear to you because you FEEL it. You can only qualify that feeling as “wrong” if you have already experienced something that felt better or if your “common body sense” tells you that there is too much discomfort (tension, force, imbalance, lack of musicality and so on). It works the same way with your own movement. Once you become aware that something feels or looks “wrong”, you try to create a sensation or a visual shape that you experience as “right”. When your partner tells you that a certain movement is uncomfortable you do not yet perceive that movement as “wrong” and therefore lack the idea of how it should feel. In this case you need information from your partner, from your own senses and eventually from an expert.

When practicing, you constantly go through this cyclic process of understanding how external actions translate into internal sensations and how to modify the action in order to create a different sensation. Assessing and describing our internal sensations is something most of us do quite well, as dancing develops our sensitivity to movement and focuses our attention. However, to tell how something should ideally feel or look, as well as which external action leads to which sensation, you need more than just feeling. You need knowledge of movement biomechanics for tango.

Imagine that a restaurant chef cooks you a meal and asks you what you think about it. You could say things such as “I find it lacks flavour”. If the chef then asks you “Tell me how I can improve it” and you have no experience with cooking, you would either say “Hey, you are the chef here” or start speculating. In dance you also find these two aspects: the SKILL of doing something and the EFFECT it creates. Having eaten in a lot of good restaurants can eventually make you a restaurant critic, but not an expert in cooking. In the same way, having danced with a lot of different partners does not make you an expert in tango technique and even less in the skill of the opposite role. Unfortunate, but true.

It is therefore essential to understand the difference between FEEDBACK and ADVICE. Feedback describes your internal sensations, the effect of your partner’s dance on you. An advice tells your partner what to do. You have to realise that you always dance with someone of the opposite role and therefore quite a different skill. Your feedback can be very accurate but unless you are an expert in tango and in your partner’s role, your advice will probably be off track.

A competent teacher has sufficient knowledge of both roles, although more specialised in one of them. When you take a class with a teacher of the opposite role the emphasis is often on how it should feel. When you take a class with the teacher of your own role it is more often on what to do. Both ways of learning are very useful. However, it is always easier to follow an advice on what to do than to understand how to move in a way that creates a certain feeling in another person. This is also why sometimes taking classes with the teacher of the opposite role can become very confusing unless the teacher helps you with the “doing” part.

There are four levels on which you can talk about issues in dance with your partner. The first and basic one is that of the PROBLEM: the internal sensation that makes you feel uncomfortable. To identify a problem it is usually enough to listen carefully to your sensations and verbalize them using sentences starting with “I feel”. However, if you remain too general, making statements such as I quoted in the beginning, you will sooner hurt your partner’s feelings or create a profound confusion. If you want your feedback to be understood, accepted and acted upon, be PRECISE. Tell your partner exactly when, where and how you feel the sensation that you find problematic.

Secondly, there is the level of the CAUSE: what the partner is doing that leads to the problem. When the follower feels unbalanced to the leader the cause can be anything from her posture to her level of stress. It can also be him unconsciously pushing her off balance. Often a problem in one partner is the result of a problem in the other. Before taking up an issue with your partner be prepared to unravel a whole bunch of issues in yourself.

Third, there is the level of the SOLUTION, or what the partner should do. The solution usually follows from the cause. As sometimes the problem comes from another issue somewhere else, the solution will be found elsewhere as well. Our movement is a complex process in which many factors play a role, all parts affecting the whole. Integrating a solution into your movement always takes time.

And finally there is the level of the desired EFFECT, or the internal sensation created by the improved movement. If you are aware of a problem, you might already have a vague idea of the desired effect. Of the four levels – problem, cause, solution and effect – the first and the last one are identified in terms of sensations. You can talk about them without having extensive knowledge of technique, just from your experience in dance. However, to identify causes and offer solutions a thorough knowledge of technique is essential. If you are not an expert and you want to improve your dance by practicing with a partner, try to talk to each other as much as possible on the levels of the problem and the desired effect. Do not be tempted to rush to conclusions and offer advice. Rather experiment a lot together. This way you will keep more doors open to finding solutions in the process. Also, get an expert opinion.

What to do when other dancers comment on your dance? Do not immediately try to do what they suggest. First ask yourself: am I getting feedback or advice? If it is feedback, try to get precise information about the problem. In case nothing more precise is coming, say thank you and move on. If you are getting an advice, ask yourself: does this person have sufficient knowledge of my role and general tango technique to give me a correct advice? If the answer is no, ask this person to give feedback instead, to describe how it feels without jumping to conclusions. If you blindly follow a wrong advice, you might end up with a wrong movement habit that will be difficult to correct later. Developing new movement habits is like rewiring electricity in your house, it brings modifications to your nervous system. Do not do it without careful consideration.

FRENCHRUSSIANCHINESECZECHROMANIANPOLISH

November 7, 2014

Why we sometimes fly and sometimes crawl

We all have had, at some point or another, a feeling of everything working out perfectly. If you have been dancing tango for some time, you have surely experienced this feeling more than once. It is one of life’s best. It feels as if your body becomes the dance, effortlessly, and a sparkling current is carrying you through the song. You are at once fully participating and watching yourself participate. There is a fusion with your partner, a wonderful oneness between you and everything else. All your technical “problems” vanish and everything simply works.

I believe that we dance tango primarily to experience this feeling. When talking about tango to non-tango people, I like to compare it to windsurfing. Surfers, like tango people, are capable of traveling to some faraway location to do the same thing day in, day out: namely, chase the perfect wave. In a sense this is what we do, too: we chase our perfect wave. That particular connection we already felt once, slightly different for each of us and also different for each period of our growth in tango. We chase it in partners, teachers, steps, shoes, music, events.

We also know the opposite feeling, when literally nothing seems to work. Your body, despite all efforts, seems incapable to reproduce the movements as gracefully as before. It feels as if you have somehow lost it and so you attempt to find it back, to force the harmony into place. Usually it only makes things worse. You stress yourself, become angry and depressed, you feel like the worst dancer in the room. You start explaining to everyone around you that you really, really are not dancing well tonight. It brings a short-lived relief, but doesn’t really help.

Why does this happen?

I do not pretend to have the complete answer, but I will highlight a couple of important aspects. The first concerns our skill. The more experienced we are at something, the easier it is to get into the state of “everything working” at any time. This is the whole point of practicing. This is how professionals are able to travel for a half a day, teach several classes and dance a beautiful show on the same evening. The more your body integrates the technically correct and comfortable way of moving, the easier it becomes. There is an important advantage in continuing to learn and practice: you swing less between “highs” and “lows”. And not only that, but you actually learn the tools to transform the “lows” into something tolerable.

If you are subject to severe swings between these two states, this possibly means that your skills are currently in the phase of “conscious competence”. I wrote about these phases in my article “Why we suffer when learning tango and how is that a good thing”. Conscious competence means that you are able to dance correctly and comfortably when the conditions are right and you are making a conscious effort. The moment the conditions are different (you are stressed, tired or distracted), your body reverts to your old, unconscious habits of movement. These habits, however established, feel bad to you because you are have trained yourself to recognise them as incorrect. Say, you often lose balance. When you feel calm and pay attention, you do what is necessarily to arrive well on your standing leg. In a milonga, however, with all the traffic around, a stressful partner or a stressful emotional state, you start losing balance again, which, of course, drives you insane.

Many dancers get stuck in the phase of conscious competence, which can become a source of tremendous anxiety because you basically never know how you are going to dance. To take it to the next level means to fully integrate the good movement habits until they become “unconscious competence”, but this takes time and practice. Meanwhile, you can help yourself by every time consciously re-creating the conditions in which it becomes easier for you to dance better. If stress affects your dancing, look for ways of calming yourself down. If being tired has a significant impact on your dancing, take a nap before the milonga. Stop dancing with partners that make you feel uncomfortable. Start the evening by dancing on the music that inspires you. Socialise. Distract yourself.

The second important aspect is your focus. The way we experience our body at any point in time is influenced by the totality of what is going on inside and around us. It is also influenced by what happened to us before, what mood we are in, our energy and emotions. Our bodymind is a highly complex being. This intelligent system runs a huge number of processes simultaneously at any time, most of which we do not consciously perceive nor control, unless we purposefully train ourselves to. Our conscious attention, however, usually focuses at one thing at a time, or a couple of things at maximum. The narrower our focus, the more what we are focusing upon will color our global perception of that moment. Our mind, moreover, likes to stick to a thought and start spinning and unraveling it like a kitten a ball of wool, sending us into reasoning “tunnels” that create strong emotional reactions.

The highs and lows you feel are your internal experiences of what happens. Your internal sensations are not necessarily a correct reflection of what is going on objectively. Performers are familiar with the following paradox: sometimes a show would feel flawless, smooth and easy yet look nothing out of the ordinary. Then sometimes there would be disturbing internal sensations, feelings of disconnect, tension, fatigue and yet the performance turns out exceptionally well. You also have the one-to-one situations: a show that feels bad and is actually below the dancer’s abilities; and a show that feels totally “in the zone” and takes the dancer’s art to its absolute high point. Needless to say that the later is what all professionals strive for. True mastery does not feel like hard work, it feels like flying. The work has been put into it before.

Besides learning a certain way of moving, dance training also has another major goal: to train your awareness to simultaneously encompass as many parts of your body as possible, including your psychological state. The simple reason behind this is that you cannot control what you are not aware of. This also leads to the diminishing of that feeling of “nothing working anymore” because the dancer is aware that many things ARE working at any time. Both professional and amateur tango dancers train this awareness. However, as an amateur dancer, your internal focus of attention tends to stay much narrower. And then often, what starts as a feeling of uneasiness about some minor thing, becomes a full-blown depression within one tanda.

It’s like any disturbing thought: if you concentrate on it very hard, you enter in a tunnel and the whole world starts to feel like a horrible mistake, while in reality the same sun is shining, the same people go about their normal activities, all that changed is that YOU had a disturbing thought and let yourself get carried away. In this case, instead of frantically looking for ways to control the situation, do the opposite: relax and expand your focus. Internally, take a step back from your feeling of discomfort and look around in your body. Look around the discomfort. Feel where things are working well, which sensations are pleasant. Let it calm you down. Create space around the problematic sensation or area, breathe, relax. Things will soon start working better.

If your first reaction is: how the hell do I do that while also concentrating on my partner and the music, then this is simply something you have not yet practiced. Not only is it possible, you will dance better if you are able to maintain a larger focus on your internal and external sensations. If you can eat your breakfast and read a newspaper at the same time without pouring coffee in your ear, then you can also learn to manage multiple processes at once in your dance. This does not mean concentrating very hard on all the things at once, quite the opposite: it is about letting your focus soften and wander around where you send it while continuing to dance. If this is still difficult for you, then train your focus while going about your daily activities. Now and then let your attention go into some other parts of your body. Feel where your toes are or how your lower back feels while keeping the concentration on your task. Your body will be grateful for this, it loves your attention. You’d be surprised how well it will pay you back.

The good news is that you can relax about one thing: when your dance feels bad on the inside it usually looks and feels pretty much the same on the outside. You just might look somewhat less happy. When you are in a flow you do not necessarily dance better in objective terms, you just feel better, more relaxed and inspired. When you feel like crap you do not necessarily dance badly, either. Your partner might feel some tension coming from you or s/he might not. Remember, other people are just as preoccupied with themselves as you are with you. So next time your find yourself in this state of internal disorientation, don’t panic: you will not lose your dignity in public. People will not point at you saying “Wow, this one there dances really badly today.” Your favorite dancers will still want to dance with you tomorrow, although today it might be hard for you to imagine. You felt better before, you will feel better again.

As I already mentioned, dancers of all levels of skill are familiar with highs and lows, each in their own way. After all, we are not machines. Learning to master the technique, enlarging your focus, calming down your anxieties are all useful ways of catching your perfect wave. Remember also that you would not have perfect waves if some of them were not less perfect. Remember that you can still do very well even with a less perfect wave, if you focus the right way. Because ultimately it is not really about the wave, is it? It is about the ride.

RUSSIANCHINESEFRENCHPOLISH

September 23, 2014